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Tuesday, 12 April 2016

My popping candy

WALT: Describe, using our senses  

I see tiny crystals

I hear popping in my mouth

I smell bubblegum

I felt tiny rocks

It taste sour.

4 comments:

  1. I thought it was great but you should cheek it and make sure it makes seance.

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  2. WOW Ocean What I liked about this was that your sentences started with a capital letter I liked how you described the popping candy but you need to put full stops at the end of your sentences because all of your words an't all put together but nice work Ocean keep it up and you will be at

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  3. WOW Ocean What I liked about this was that your sentences started with a capital letter I liked how you described the popping candy but you need to put full stops at the end of your sentences because all of your words an't all put together but nice work Ocean keep it up and you will be at

    ReplyDelete
  4. WOW!Ocean you put good thought into this story but you do need to check if it makes sense.On the other hand i really liked the way you use what you sensed great story.

    ReplyDelete